What if you became a companion to your own grief?

Not because you want to stay stuck in it. Not because you have to love it. And certainly not because grief is something you should be grateful for.

But because grief is often the expression of something that mattered deeply.

Befriending Grief Doesn’t Mean Liking It

When I use the word befriend, I don’t mean pretending grief is beautiful or embracing the pain.

Befriending grief means becoming curious about it instead of constantly fighting it.

Imagine treating your grief like an old friend instead of an unwanted guest.

What might change?

When someone we love is grieving, we often become afraid of saying the wrong thing.

We search for the perfect words.

We wonder:

What should I say?

What if I make it worse?

What if I remind them of their loss?

What if I don’t know what to say at all?

So sometimes, instead of reaching out, we stay quiet.

But grief doesn’t need perfect words.

It needs presence.

One of the most meaningful things you can offer someone who is grieving is simply the experience of not having to be alone in it.

You don’t have to fix their grief.

You don’t have to make them feel better.

You don’t have to find the right words.

You can simply show up.

Grief Doesn’t Follow A Schedule

“Grief doesn’t need to be fixed, it needs to be witnessed.”

At 14 years old, Noah’s death impacted me more than almost any event in my life. It was sudden and tragic; it’s also a big part of how I arrived at where I am today - thank you for continuing to teach me.

I watched people celebrating with generations all together, I watched families with new babies, pregnant women, people helping their parents the way one has to help a child - each of these observations impacted me, and my very tender heart. I celebrated with them inside myself and felt the changes and seasons of life so deeply.

I reflect on love and gratitude and how you can have so much of both (I sure do)  and also feel sad, lonely and vulnerable.

They are not mutually exclusive.